The Inebriation of the Bebop Crew
by SuperSandra
Summary: The Bebop crew drunk? Is it even possible? It sure is! Witness the whacko transformation of our favorite characters into drunks! Rated for some crude language. R&R!
1. The Inebriation of Ed

**The Inebriation of the Bebop Crew**

**A/N:** Okay, so I was really bored one night and I drank about five cans of Pepsi so you can imagine how hyped up I was. Well anyway, being both bored and hyper can lead you to come up with a million ideas in your head so I thought of a fic to write and came up with this question… What would it be like if each person on the Bebop crew were to get drunk? Not all together of course, but if one person were to consume a large amount of alcohol, how would they act? So in my weird and sadistic mind I came up with this… A four/five part telling on each crew member, maybe Ein if by popular request, and what I think would happen if they were to be intoxicated with alcohol… Hence the word inebriation in the title, if you didn't know what that meant…So folks, enjoy the show!

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, that's right... I OWN COWBOY BEBOP!!! Pfft... I'm kidding! Don't sue me now! =(

* * *

**First Inebriation of the whimsical, spontaneous, radical hacker… Ed!**

"Ed is here, Ed is there, Ed is here, Ed is there, Ed is here, Ed is there!!"

"Would you stop your singing, Ed? I'm trying to watch this soap opera!" Faye yelled to Edward over the blaring sounds of the TV. The bars of the volume already reached the limit and all Faye could muster out of the show was a few words.

Ed stopped for a moment and looked at Faye with a perplexed expression of some sort. "But Faye-Faye, Ed is bored and thirsty! Can you play games with Ed, Faye-Faye?"

Faye groaned. "No, I'm busy. Go do whatever you do on that computer of yours."

"Alrighty then!" Ed jumped up once and extended her arms out, making zoom noises as if she were an airplane. But then midway through her flight, she stopped.

"Faye-Faye, Ed's thirsty still!"

"Then why don't you drink tap water from the faucet!" Faye was getting a bit perturbed at this interruption from Edward. She just missed the part where Susan had confessed her love affair with Robert to her husband Michael.

"But Ed thinks the tap water is weird tasting! It makes Ed go blah!"

"Then find some sort of liquid to drink and stop bothering me!" Faye yelled once more to her redheaded crew member.

Faye decided she would ignore the next person to ask her a question. She already missed enough of her soap opera and she didn't feel like missing anymore. Michael was already confessing that he too had an affair, with Susan's mother.

So Edward zoomed off once more, this time toward the kitchen, Ein happily trotting by her heels. She opened up cupboards one at a time, singing another song as she searched.

"Something to drink, Ed is thirsty for liquid, something to drink, Ed is thirsty for liquid, something to…" The words trailed off from her mouth as she saw all the way at the back of a cupboard a lone bottle, tall and dark.

"Oooooo…" Ed said under her breath. "Ed found something to drink!" She grabbed the bottle quickly and danced around for a moment, joyful of her findings.

Taking the cap off, she sniffed the dark liquid that was inside. "Wow… Ed has found some interesting liquid."

Without reading the label or any other indication of what this liquid was, Ed downed the whole bottle in one long, continuous gulp. Still holding the bottle to her lips even though the bottle was empty, Ed hiccupped and laughed slightly into the bottle.

"Edward has the dizzies!" She yelled aloud and pranced around for a moment, dropping the bottle in the sink with a soft clink. Ein wasn't quite sure of what was going on, though he noticed that his friend seemed a bit more hyper than ever before after she drank the dark liquid.

Strangely enough, Ed started doing the running man out of the kitchen and made her way, running man style, over to Faye whose attention was solely focused on the TV.

"Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye, Faye!!!" Ed sang again, still doing the running man to an obviously mismatched beat. This mismatched beat came from Ed's lips as she started trying to be a human beat box.

Ignoring her, Faye continued to watch her soap opera, oblivious to the fact that Ed was doing the running man and beatboxing at the same time. This was something to take note. It was unorthodox for a skinny little girl like Ed to do the running man and at the same time make badly sounding beats from her mouth. Unorthodox but definitely a sight to see.

Although Faye didn't see what was wrong with Ed, Spike entered the room just in time. He spotted Ed doing the running man with the happiest expression on her face. Ein was at her feet, jumping on her every few seconds.

Spike scratched his head uncertainly, but knowing how weird Ed was, decided to not question her action. He only came into the room to tell Faye to turn the volume down on the TV.

"Hey, Faye!" Spike called out to her. "Faye… Faye… Godamnit, FAYE!" Spike yelled and poked her in the arm to get her attention.

Faye snapped her head up at Spike. "What the hell do you want? You're lucky a commercial's up."

"Could you turn down the goddamn volume, please?" Spike said to her in a normal voice.

"What?" Clearly Faye couldn't hear him as the volume was that loud. She cupped a hand over her ear. "I can't hear you, say it louder."

"I said… TURN DOWN THE DAMN VOLUME!"

"I still can't hear what you're saying, speak up!"

"TURN THE…" Spike's voice trailed off. Instead of the volume turning down, the TV was completely shut off.

"Oh, alright. That's better." Spike said calmly.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" Faye yelled out rather tragically. She grabbed the remote next to her and pushed the power button. But the TV stayed blank even as she jabbed the button five more times.

She sunk down on her knees to the floor and raised her fists in the air, shaking them punishably up at the heavens. "WHO THE HELL UNPLUGGED THE TV?... SPIKE?"

She stood up quickly and pointed an accusing finger at Spike. "You did this to anger the shit out of me, didn't you? Damn you!" In a fit of petty fury, she charged at Spike and swung her fist at his face.

Quickly enough, Spike caught her fist midway before it could reach his face. "God, Faye. Calm down. I didn't disconnect your precious TV."

Snatching her fist back, Faye said, "If you didn't do it then…" She turned around to the only other person in the room and leered at the skinny redheaded girl before her who was still strangely doing the running man.

"ED!" Faye walked over to Ed and looked down angrily at her.

"Hiya Faye-Faye!" Ed greeted, still dancing.

"Why did you disconnect my TV…" Faye paused, observing what Ed was doing. "…and what are you doing?"

"Faye, I think it's called the running man." Spike informed her.

"Whatever the hell it is, stop doing it, Ed and answer my question!" Faye yelled impatiently.

Gradually Ed stopped doing the running man until she stood there looking at the ground. She was still.

"I think you hurt her feelings, Faye." Spike whispered over to Faye.

"You think?" Faye asked him quietly. Spike nodded. Ed looked sad to him.

Faye groaned. She never dealt with sad kids before nor kids in general. "I uh, I'm sorry for the outburst, okay?… Ed?"

Ed brought her head up to look at both Faye and Spike. Widely and maniacally, she smiled.

"I think she took that rather well… right?" Faye asked Spike, her wide eyes glued at Ed.

"Either that or she's insanely angered." Spike told Faye. He was suddenly getting uncomfortable just by that maniacal smile Ed had on her face. He backed away slowly and grabbed Faye's arm to force her to back up with him also.

Still with her wide smile and bizarre expression, Ed came toward Spike and Faye slowly step by step.

"She's really creeping the hell out of me." Faye muttered to Spike.

"Ditto." Spike concurred, still guiding Faye backwards with him. "I think we should run before she jumps on us."

"Agreed." Faye said and snatched her arm from Spike's grip, getting a head start in running.

"Don't leave me with her!" Spike yelled out and ran behind Faye, not taking the time to see if Ed was behind him or not. But sure enough, Spike heard the sound of bare feet running behind him.

"Oh, shit! She's coming!" He yelled out to Faye who in response sprinted into her room. Before Faye could shut the door closed, Spike ran inside and joined her inside her room.

"Why didn't you go into your own room?!" Faye yelled at Spike.

"This is closer. Close the door!!" Spike shouted quickly when he caught sight of a head of red hair stop in front of Faye's room.

"GAH!!!" Faye yelled and shut the door as fast as she could, locking it afterward. They were safe in the room… for now…

Spike made himself comfortable while in Faye's room and lay on her bed, his hands behind his head nonchalantly.

"Spike."

"Faye."

"Get the fuck off of my bed."

Spike was about to protest against this idea until he heard the scratching noises on the door followed with Ed muttering 'Faye-Faye' and 'Spike-person'.

"Ed's scratching at the door now… What in damnation is wrong with her?" Faye asked.

"Beats me, Faye. Unless it was your fault."

Faye turned toward him angrily. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, it seems you traumatized her into insanity with your obsession of soap operas."

"Oh, shut up." Faye retorted and folded her arms, turning back to the door where the scratching sounds were still present. "We need help. Where the hell is Jet when you need him?"

"Still visiting his friend, it seems." Spike replied. "He won't be back for probably another two hours."

"God, how amazingly horrible." Faye declared and sat on the floor, not bothering to argue with Spike's stubbornness.

For the next two hours (and seven minutes and four seconds) Faye and Spike were cooped up in one room, waiting for either Jet to arrive or for Ed to stop whatever she was doing. The latter seemed like it was never going to happen.

Ed seemed to go on scratching the door and calling out Spike and Faye's name for ten minutes straight. After that she started banging on the door and singing a rock version of oddly enough, 'I Shot the Sheriff'. Ein on the other hand, kept on barking or howling which Ed would join in with him after a while.

There were moments of complete silence with which Faye would keep a hand on the doorknob ready to turn and open the door. But Ed's voice would rise up again and she'd start on another song while making the door her bongo drums.

When these two hours (and seven minutes and four seconds) were up, Spike and Faye heard Jet's voice in the distant. Excitement and hope rose in both of them.

"Yes, we're saved!" Faye said happily.

" 'Bout time." Spike said coolly.

Ed was howling with Ein the time they heard footsteps approach and the sweet sound of Jet's voice was heard.

"What're are you doing outside of Faye's room, Ed?" Spike and Faye heard Jet question Edward.

The howling stopped. There was a moment of silence that gripped Spike and Faye on the edge of their seats as they both put their ears next to the door.

The bittersweet silence ended as Spike and Faye heard Jet go, "Ed… what's wrong? What're you going to do? Hey… Back away now… AHHHH!!!!!!"

"He's in trouble. I'm going out there." Spike decided valiantly and unlocked the door. Opening the door, Spike was surprised to find that Jet wasn't in trouble at all.

He was just looking rather flustered and annoyed at Ed who was wrapped around his leg and giving him an enormous hug. Jet shrugged but then spotted Faye peeking out from behind Spike's shoulder as if she wasn't sure things were okay to be able to come out.

"Why were you two inside Faye's room together?" Jet asked them both as he looked at them suspiciously.

Faye's eyebrows rose up in alarm and she quickly came out from behind Spike's back. Spike laughed nervously.

"It's not what you think." Spike said quickly.

"Not at all!" Faye chimed in.

"Oh yeah, sure." Jet said skeptically. "You were just in there having a fun old time while poor Ed here was left out, begging to come in."

Spike and Faye's jaws dropped at almost the same time.

Faye shook her head. "No, no, it's not like that all! Ed was…"

Jet interrupted Faye's explanation before she could finish. "Oh, don't blame Ed for this. I'm ashamed of you two. If you both like each other **that much**," Jet emphasized the words 'that much', "I suggest next time you take it to some hotel room and not on this ship where a little innocent girl is right outside the door wondering what's happening. Come on, Ed. I'll give you food I brought back with me."

Jet got Ed off his leg and helped her up, lightly pushing her ahead of him. Jet shamelessly shook his head at Spike and Faye and then followed a dancing Edward out, Ein trotting alongside.

Faye crossed her arms and leered up at Spike. Spike shrugged. "It wasn't my fault. You shouldn't have been so passionate about that stupid soap opera."

* * *

"Jet! Ed is tired, can Ed go to sleep instead?" Ed slowly asked Jet before entering the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead. You look tired, probably from all that howling." Jet responded, noticing that Ed's eyes were quite drowsy and almost bloodshot.

Ed nodded and surprisingly walked away at a snail's pace instead of skipping or prancing away.

"Strange." Jet thought to himself as he watched her walk off. He entered the kitchen to put the food he brought with him away. While stacking a few cans in the cupboard, he spotted a glass bottle in the sink.

"Why good lord. I remember winning this bottle of wine in a raffle. I was going to drink it but looks like someone already has." He said as he examined the seal on the empty bottle.

Instantly Jet thought of Spike and Faye together in the room. "Good God, those two are stupid enough to even leave evidence of their escapades."

He shook his head. "I just hope Ed doesn't take up drinking."

* * *

**A/N**: w00t! First chapter done with… Yeah, so my order of inebriating will maybe be Ed, Jet, Faye, then Spike…Or maybe I can do the reviewer's requests… Whatever fits, I'll do it… But expect some OOCness… I'm out now, peace!

**CassieKA**


	2. The Inebriation of Faye

**The Inebriation of the Bebop Crew**

**A/N: **Whoa… Have I ever told you (you being the reviewers) that I love you peeps? You all made my crappy day a much better one than it was before! So I thank you all… Individually though, of course…

**Bloody Love**: Hey, thanks a lot! I quite enjoyed writing that little part myself… It was buried in the deep recesses of my mind… Poetic, huh? Hehe… well, I'll think about doing an Ein one since you said I should.

**krysalys73**: I'm glad you think it's entertaining! I'm pretty sarcastic so that wry humor came easy to me. And who wouldn't want to be around when Spike's three sheets to the wind? Heck, I know I'd want to! Also, thank you kindly!

**demonic**** girl**: Thank you, thank you! I'm told that I tend to describe things a little too much so I'm glad in this fic I'm not overdoing it, yet it's enough description to picture things.

**Kendra Luehr**: Wow, did anyone ever tell you that you're awesome? If no one has… You're awesome! I used your idea, tweaked it, and put it in my own words. So I have to thank you personally for giving me the idea! It's much better than what I had in store before. Thank you so much!

**jennaaay****! (**Awesome way to put your name btw**)**: I thank you much! Subtle bits of humor are what I try to include frequently!

**Xtreme**** Nuisance**: OMG, thank you! Heh… Somebody seems hyper too now, eh? And here's more for you!

**Marie**: Well, I guess this is the right time to say that it's… Faye's time to get drunk! Thank you so much!

So now, I leave you to read whatever the hell I have left after this! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, that's right… I OWN COWBOY BEBOP!! Pfft… I'm kidding! Don't sue me now! =(

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**Second Inebriation of the seductive, unrelenting, voluptuous vixen… Faye! **

"Hot diggity! All you bounty hunters out there perk your ears up 'cause we got a bounty for ya that'll knock your britches off!" Judy, the buxom blonde of Big Shots, enthusiastically exclaimed as she leaned on the back of her co-host, Alfred.

"You are indeed right, Judy." Alfred said. "Howard Weller notoriously known as Heatwave is on the run for committing a large amount of crimes including a mass murder of one of Jupiter's wealthiest families. He's worth a big one, folks!"

"How much is a big one, Alfred?" His co-hostess questioned with curiosity, although with her bad acting skills, anyone could figure that this was rehearsed before.

"200 million woolongs! You heard right, bounty hunters! 200 million woolongs!"

Faye quickly got up from her position of lying on the couch. A bounty worth that much, who wouldn't take the chance? She was at the moment of deciding whether or not to take the mission when Spike and Jet entered the room.

As if Spike had read her mind on this bounty, he said, "Jet and I are going to get this Heatwave guy we just heard on Big Shots. And no, you can't come along nor get a share of what we earned."

"God, you two are unfair!" Faye said angrily and sat down with her arms crossed, lips in a pout. "What the hell do you expect me to do here?"

Jet looked around the ship. He spotted dirty dishes in the sink, flies swarming about, dust bunnies on the floor, and a ton of other things that needed tending to. "Well for one, you could be maid for the day and do a little ship cleaning. It would make Spike and I happier men coming home to a clean ship."

"Sounds like a good idea to me, Jet." Spike agreed with him.

"Why you bunch of chauvinistic pigs of men." Faye muttered irritably under her breath.

"Then what say you if we give you ten percent of what we earn if you do the job?" Jet inquired, daring to take the plunge of giving in to some demands.

"Doesn't sound like a good idea to me, Jet." Spike said, disappointed.

Faye contemplated on the deal Jet presented to her. "Alright, I'll think about it." She said. "But you have to come back here with ten percent of that bounty money whether or not you catch that scumbag."

"I'll see about that." Jet said and left the room.

Spike was still there, leering down at Faye. "What?" Faye said crossly.

"You're going to make Ed do all the cleaning, aren't you?" He automatically assumed.

"Now that you mention it," Faye said slyly, "I just might do that. Thanks for the idea, Spike!"

Spike shook his head. "I don't know why I even open my mouth."

"Well you should do it more often, Spike. G'bye now!" Faye waved goodbye sweetly yet mockingly toward Spike. He shook his head shamefully at her before leaving.

Deciding to start going through with her wicked plan, Faye called out for Ed. "Edward! Oh, EDDDDDDD!!!!"

She heard zooming noises and the sound of bare feet running before the golden-eyed, tan Edward came into view. She jumped over onto the couch and sat cross legged next to Faye. "Why does Faye-Faye yell out for Ed? Does Faye-Faye want to play Dungeons and Dragons with Ed?" She asked excitedly at the prospect.

"Uh… I don't think…" Faye paused for a moment. There was only one surefire way that she could make Ed do something for her and Ed just mentioned it. "Actually, Edward, I do want to play with you..."

"YAY!! Faye-Faye wants to play games with Ed!!" Ed jumped up from her cross legged position on the couch and started jumping up and down on the springy surface.

"BUT!" Faye yelled aloud to stop Ed jumping.

"But? But what?" Ed asked curiously.

Faye had it all figured out in her mind in an instance. "But you see, Ed, Faye-Faye can't play when the ship's unclean like this. It'll lower Faye-Faye's enjoyment level. And cleaning lowers Faye-Faye's enjoyment level to a zero so there's nothing Faye-Faye can do about it but be bored!"

Ed sat down cross legged again and put her forefinger to her chin inquisitively. "Ed will clean the Bebop for Faye-Faye!" Ed instantly offered.

"You will?" Faye asked happily yet deep down, thankful that her plan would work out.

"If Faye-Faye can have fun because of it, Ed will clean!"

"Alright then, Ed! Get to it!" Faye said, slightly sounding bossy.

"YIPPEE!!" Ed yelled happily and ran off to start cleaning.

"Ah, this is life." Faye declared and put her hands behind her head while lying back on the couch. Now all she could do was watch her favorite soap operas on TV for the rest of the day.

While watching a scene where the glamorous Susan and debonair Michael were having dinner, the jealous mother of Susan spying right behind a tree, Faye couldn't help but stare at the tall bottle of wine that sat beside their table. And the wine in their glasses looked both sparkling and delicious in the emerald eyes of Faye.

"I could use some alcohol in my system… sure as hell would loosen me up a bit." Faye decided and got up to walk toward the kitchen.

"Hiya, Faye-Faye!" Ed greeted cheerfully, currently washing the filthy dishes in the sink.

"Oh hey, Ed." Faye replied and opened the fridge. Luckily for her, there was a six pack of beer in there. Not her first choice of alcohol, but Faye had to deal with what she had.

"Whatcha drinkin', Faye-Faye?" Ed asked curiously when she saw Faye carrying the pack of cans.

"Nothing, Ed. Just keep cleaning." Faye responded quickly.

"Alrighty!" Ed exclaimed happily, scrubbing the dishes even harder afterward.

After taking a can off of its plastic ring and opening it with a 'pop' noise, Faye lay down once again on the couch, lazier than ever. Slowly she sipped the cold liquid from the can, savoring and enjoying the taste.

She drank as she watched the TV screen. Today they were showing a marathon of The Young and Ridiculously Wealthy, Faye's favorite soap opera.

"Oh, dearest, I could never love anyone as much as I love you." Michael crooned to Susan.

"And I love you so much I can't bear the thought of not having you in my life, my honey bear!" Susan declared back before passionately kissing Michael on the lips.

Faye felt a tear come down her cheek. "Oh God, I love happy endings."

But then suddenly Susan's mother came out from behind the tree, carrying a gun. "You two take your hands off each other or I shoot!" She shouted. There was a freeze frame with the words 'To be continued…' at the bottom.

"Oh man, oh man, oh man." Faye said quickly, excited that this was not ending anytime soon. Finishing her first can off, she reached for another and opened it. She gulped it down rather quickly, so it wouldn't be a distraction to her as she watched the next episode. She wouldn't even blink once throughout the whole show if she could.

"Hillary, don't do this please!" Michael begged as the show continued from where it ended in the last episode.

"Yes, please don't do it, Mother." Faye whispered to the TV surprisingly. It didn't surprise Faye though… she couldn't help it.

"I love you, Michael. How could you go for my whore of a daughter?!" Susan's mother, Hillary, shouted back.

"Whore… whore?!" Faye yelled out angrily and stood up, getting a bit way out of hand. It was almost as if she was in the character Susan's point of view… A definite effect caused by…

Alcohol…

* * *

"I guess there's always next time, Jet." Spike said as they entered inside the Bebop an hour later.

"Damn, who'd thunk that Big Shots played reruns back from 6 months ago!" Jet yelled aloud and put his hands up as if to ask 'why?' "And I thought they could be a damn trusted source."

"Nobody ever said that Big Shots was a trusted source, Jet." Spike responded.

"Ah, whatever." Jet said. "I need to go water my bonsai trees."

Spike chuckled. "How fruity." He said quietly to himself.

"What did you say?" Jet turned around to Spike.

"Uh… nothing at all!" Spike laughed nervously and walked ahead of Jet.

"Weird bastard." Jet said and followed Spike into the main room.

Entering the main room, Jet found the ship to be fantastically squeaky clean. He didn't think Faye would actually clean the ship. This feat Faye accomplished amazed him.

He spotted the back of Faye's head as she sat on the couch in front of the TV. "Hey! I'm surprised you actually got to cleaning. Too bad you're not getting anything from it since Spike and I didn't have a bounty to hunt in the first place!" He laughed.

Faye got up from her seat and turned around, looking straight at Jet. "What're you talking about?" She questioned, her words a little slurred.

"Oh, good. So you don't remember…" Jet stopped himself from saying anymore. He didn't want to remind her.

"I don't know who you are, mister but…" Faye stopped herself mid sentence and turned her body ninety degrees to where Spike stood unnoticing and reading the paper. "Oh my, it's you." She whispered…lovingly…

Spike looked up from his newspaper. With an expression of complete confusion he said, "Is something wrong? W-why are you looking like that?"

In a fit of passion, she quickly went up to Spike and took his hands into hers, throwing the newspaper onto the floor. "I really, really, really need to talk to you." She turned toward Jet. "In private, please."

Jet shrugged. "Whatever the hell's going on, one of you better tell me what's up tomorrow." He left the room.

"Hey, wait!" Spike called out to Jet. It was too late though. Spike would have to handle whatever was going on by himself. He looked down at Faye. Her eyes were almost… twinkling?

"Alright, what is up with you?" He noticed his hands were still in Faye's hands. Feeling suddenly awkward, he snatched his hands away from her grasp and asked, "Is there a reason as to why you're looking at me so…" He tried to find a synonym for 'lovingly'. "… so… adoringly?" He questioned, finding a better word.

"Oh, it's tragic!" Faye said dramatically. "We could be together, if only… if only…"

"What?!" Spike shouted, taken aback.

"Oh the humanity!" Faye turned around and put her hands to her face, shaking her head side to side. She quickly turned back toward Spike, startling him with the abruptness. "Don't you think we'd make such a good couple?"

Spike was speechless and stood there uneasily as she mentioned this.

"If only I were a woman! But alas, I am but a mere woman trapped in a man's body!" Faye cried out.

"Uh… You are a woman." Spike said, puzzled as to why she would say such a thing.

"What? I am?" She asked astounded. Spike nodded.

Faye looked down at her chest. As if to prove what she saw was really there, she placed her hands under her breasts and pushed them up and down. "Heey… So I am a woman!" She exclaimed excitedly.

Spike wasn't sure how to respond to this. Was it wrong of him to think what she did was kinda… hot? _Nah…_ He thought. _That's just the testosterone talking._

"So now that I realize I truly am a woman," Faye continued babbling, "we can be together!"

"Umm…" Spike was really, really getting uncomfortable at the whole 'togetherness' she was talking about. "Faye, you know I don't think of you like that and you know you sure as hell don't think of me like that either."

"Oh, but I do!" She said in her slurred speech. "I do, I do, Michael!"

"Michael?" Spike said confusingly. Just at that right moment, Spike's ear perked up at the sound coming from the TV.

"Don't you say that to me, Michael!!" The woman, opposite the man she called Michael, said.

"Oh…" Spike said as he realized where Faye was getting all the mumbo jumbo from. _It's her damn soap operas. But why?_

He skimmed the room for a moment, trying to find anything that would have made Faye act the way she was acting. "God, I hope it isn't drugs." Spike said to himself.

"Drugs?! Where?!" Faye questioned and went around in circles. She practically made herself dizzy from all the spinning and fell smack down onto the floor. "Why is the room moving around?" She questioned, still slurring her words badly. "And why does my face hurt?" It hurt probably because she fell on her face.

"I've fallen and I can't get up! Somebody help me!" She yelled pathetically.

"Oh, jeez." Spike muttered as he helped Faye get up to her feet.

"T-t-t-t-thank you, M-m-m-michael!" Faye stuttered to Spike.

"My name is not Michael! It's Spike!"

"Oh, Michael. I love the way you look when you're peeved." Faye responded, pointing her finger at him and trying to look seductive. Of course it didn't look that way and she ended up staggering a bit and then falling forward. Luckily Spike caught her in time before she could hit her face on the ground again.

"T-t-thank you, my knight…in… shining… spacesuit…" Faye murmured slowly as she dozed off in Spike's arms, her head buried in his chest.

Spike sighed heavily and carried her over to the couch. Before laying her down on the couch he swiped an empty can off of the surface. He suddenly realized what was wrong with Faye.

"She was drunk." Spike acknowledged to himself. He found the other five cans, all empty, underneath the couch. "Okay, she was very drunk."

Jet entered the room as Spike was picking up the empty cans. "Who's been drinking?" He asked when he saw what Spike was doing.

"Who else? Faye."

"Is that why she was…"

"Yep."

"I was thinking so for a moment back there." Jet said. "Ed's fast asleep herself. The kid had an apron on her and was carrying a duster. She looked pretty beat."

"Isn't it obvious?" Spike questioned Jet.

"What's obvious?"

"Faye didn't clean the ship, Ed did. And I guess Faye tried to enjoy herself by drinking and getting herself drunk." Spike added.

Jet nodded. "She didn't happen to drink a six pack of beer, did she? Because I was about to have some of that."

"All out, Jet…" Spike replied, showing him the six cans before throwing them into the trash can.

"Aw, damn." Jet said disappointedly. "Remind me next time to hide any kind of alcohol of mine's away from Faye."

"I'll make sure to do so." Spike responded. "I sure as hell don't want her acting like she did just now again… Michael… pfft."

* * *

**A/N**: BAM! Second chapter done with! (I think I've been watching too much Emeril) You the reader know what to do next… right?

**CassieKA**


End file.
